Friday, April 10, 2009

More Questions, No Answers Yet

As you may already know, I am having very REAL fantasies of quitting my job. Something has taken over me and I just can't shake it. 

I really want to travel.

I don't care if it is camping, backpacking in a park or throughout the world! I feel like a caged animal from 8-5, Monday through Friday. The buzz of fluorescent light fixtures and computers is driving me insane. I long to be outside. I have never felt these urges as strong as I have lately. I hate feeling like I am trapped in the rat race. Slowly shedding possessions has helped but it almost seems like baby steps for the BIG EVENT! My brain obsesses all day about life in an Airstream, on the trail or in a foreign city. What would I bring? How would I survive? I am already in survival mode being at a job I don't like so it seems like second nature to think about survival in other situations. 

I recently went on backpacking trip to the Guadalupe mountains. I have never done anything like that yet I had dreamed about it for years to the point where I was giving up on that dream actually happening. It was a hard hike. I complained. I hurt. I was relieved when it was over. Now I wish I was there right this moment, maybe with a lighter pack this time! ;)

I need to get out. One of my strengths is planning. That is what I am going to keep doing... planning my escape from boredom into freedom. I trust that I will know exactly when the moment is right.