Shedding The Excess... and Now What?

This weekend was wildly successful in getting rid of "stuff". I started with a truck bed chock full of things to sell and came back with roughly 1/3 of it. The rest of it is going to be pared down by donation and there will be a few things that I will try once again to put on Craigslist or put on eBay.

I did a lot of people watching and saw a lot of consumer behavior at work during our rummage sale. It was so fascinating! There were a few people that literally could not walk away without buying something! They even expressed that sentiment out loud. Clearly there was nothing that they really wanted during the first go around, but they walked down the sidewalk again to check the tables in order to find something that they just "needed". One lady was so bothered by having fifty cents in leftover change that she stood at the table for a good five minutes to ponder what the best purchase at that table was for money.

On some level, watching people with this behavior was quite the painful reflection. I used to be like that. I never had that behavior at garage sales, but I would if there were loads of clearance racks at the department store. I would talk myself into buying stuff that I definitely didn't need but just wanted because "it was such a good deal". How many of us fell into that trap?

Over on the Get Rich Slowly blog, JD posted a blog today about impulse spending. I could really relate. The old me used to spend most of my paycheck at the retail establishment I worked at. Their clothes weren't of good quality and it was very seasonal trendy, not classic. I shudder to think how much money I spent durning my days of working retail. Those experiences did however make me who I am today. My only debt is a student loan. I shop with much restraint and don't buy anything that isn't on sale or a reduced price 95% of the time. This isn't a fad lifestyle for me because of the "bad economy". This is my life... for good and I love it.

Shedding The Excess

I have gotten to the point where my extra stuff just has to go. I am tired of looking at it even if it is in a separate room to itself! I have been shedding and purging to the point where I am looking in places high and low to find more stuff let go of. This time is more of a cathartic ritual for some reason. Maybe it was because of all the deaths in my family last year. Possibly the downturn in the economy and the subsequent shift of collective culture in living more simply spurned this. Who knows.

I'm always inspired by David Bruno's 100-Thing Challenge but wonder if I could ever truly get there myself. There is more than likely at least 100 things going out for sale tomorrow alone! These were things that I was never in love with. That is probably a good thing since I have been pondering the notion of attachment since I took an interest in learning about Buddhism.

I look forward to shedding this excess and in turn, slowing down. I know I will still keep sorting and processing, as I am a creature of ever evolving nature. I will keep growing and learning. The tools and possessions of the past will be let go of as needed.

Change is all around and I am glad to be caught up in it for once.

Cashing in on Trash

A few weeks ago, I was driving home and pulling up to my house as I noticed that my neighbors had a Dyson vacuum cleaner sitting on the curb for trash day. I was somewhat struck with horror that someone would be throwing out a vacuum that costs over$300! After I went into my house for a few minutes, I decided to walk over and see what was up with the gem on the curb. My neighbor was throwing it out because it "lost suction". Oh, the irony. She had tried to fix it but gave up and just got another one for Christmas. She told me to take it if I wanted and have it serviced so it I could have a nice little vacuum. Hmm.

Well I didn't need another vacuum and didn't feel like going down the customer service/parts/repair route. I knew it had value though. So since I am an unemployed student at the moment, I put it on Craigslist for $25. That was probably the easiest $25 I have ever made but it still bothers me that people are such casual disposers of valuable items. I once found 6 all wooden chairs by a dumpster. I sold them on Craigslist for $15. Too easy.

Why is our American society so throwaway? Why do so many people feel no responsibility for what they junk? It is becoming increasingly difficult to sit back and not take some sort of action to take care of other people's problems.

Or maybe I just have too much time on my hands.

It's Finally Here!

Be careful what you ask for...

As you can tell from my previous posts, I really wanted out of my job! I kept putting that message out to the universe and, well, the universe answered back! Back in April it was announced that my company was taking my full-time salaried position and making it a part-time hourly position. 

At first I was shocked (it might of had something to do with me receiving this knowledge in an e-mail with my coworkers all copied on it). As a few days went by though I realized that this could be a great opportunity. Of course, I could stay. I could take the drastic pay cut. We are constantly bombarded with the message of how fortunate one is to have a job in this economy! I was fed up and didn't want it anymore though. Management was not even interested in expressing that it may have been a hard decision but that I would be helping them out by staying since I had all the knowledge and skills of the position. The message I got was that I was rather dispensable. I didn't want to feel or be labeled that for one more second. So I did what any self-respecting person in my position would do, I put in my two weeks notice!

There was so much more drama that was involved but I don't feel like hashing it all out again. I decided to take care of myself and finish up my last few classes that I need for my degree. I am in no rush to find another job. I built up some savings while working and got a decent payout for my vacation that I never got to take advantage of in TWO years! 

The plan is school but also to start my own business. I have been licensed as a massage therapist for several years now but fell under the spell of the so called "security" that corporate jobs provide. How laughable! My business model is to market to businesses because employees really need me! People are overworked, over stressed and under appreciated right now. I hope I can connect with those that can truly benefit from my talent since it clearly wasn't happening in the mental health field! 

For once, my future really feels like it is under my command. I made a conscious decision to not do what was easy or secure. I am the captain of my own ship, navigating by the stars. I was not meant to do or be anything less. Now that I am done trying to be a square peg in a round hole, the world awaits! 

More Questions, No Answers Yet

As you may already know, I am having very REAL fantasies of quitting my job. Something has taken over me and I just can't shake it. 

I really want to travel.

I don't care if it is camping, backpacking in a park or throughout the world! I feel like a caged animal from 8-5, Monday through Friday. The buzz of fluorescent light fixtures and computers is driving me insane. I long to be outside. I have never felt these urges as strong as I have lately. I hate feeling like I am trapped in the rat race. Slowly shedding possessions has helped but it almost seems like baby steps for the BIG EVENT! My brain obsesses all day about life in an Airstream, on the trail or in a foreign city. What would I bring? How would I survive? I am already in survival mode being at a job I don't like so it seems like second nature to think about survival in other situations. 

I recently went on backpacking trip to the Guadalupe mountains. I have never done anything like that yet I had dreamed about it for years to the point where I was giving up on that dream actually happening. It was a hard hike. I complained. I hurt. I was relieved when it was over. Now I wish I was there right this moment, maybe with a lighter pack this time! ;)

I need to get out. One of my strengths is planning. That is what I am going to keep doing... planning my escape from boredom into freedom. I trust that I will know exactly when the moment is right.

Sunday Night

I find that the saddest day of the entire week is a Sunday. There is still that high of having weekend freedom but the harsh reality that it will end come morning. Then the weekday grind will set in! There never seems to be enough time to get anything accomplished outside of work between Monday and Friday! I have to plan my weeks more strategically now to be able to include my workouts. The company I work for changed the rules recently for us to be able to workout on company time. I no longer have enough time to complete my strength training classes like I was doing twice a week. Some of you may be rolling your eyes at the fact that I am complaining about that, but I work at a non-profit and therefore receive the salary of someone working at a non-profit. If I was making a healthy salary, I might not be complaining. 

I did spend a fair amount of time contemplating what my next step will be as far as the work situation goes. These are the options that I have come up with:

1. Quit immediately. I will float on the vacation payout I would receive until I am able to find my next full time job. I could do one job or a couple of part time jobs.
2. Find a part time job and just hold that one while I finish up my last 9 hours of school in the summer.
3. Go from this full time job but only once I secure another full time job.

Option #3 is clearly the most "secure" thing to do but would also leave me miserable at my current position for even longer. 

Option #2 is manageable but I would definitely have to alter my current method of budgeting to make it work. Right now, I am saving roughly 1/2 of my income so I wouldn't be able to save as much. 

Option #1 is definitely enticing! I feel pretty confident that I would be able to be employed in a reasonable amount of time even though I have friends that have been unemployed for months. Maybe I am over-confident? 

In all seriousness, this may be a moot discussion. I just have this nagging feeling that I might get laid off soon. It is pretty sad when I conclude that it may be the best thing that ever happened to me! 

For now I can relish in the great weekend that I had and hold on to that until I fall asleep. Hopefully this coming week won't be as bad as the last and Friday will be here before I know it!

The Safety Net of Corporate Slavery

This post is probably going to come across as more of a rant than anything else! I have been so frustrated lately with my job. I don't want the career that I have. I have worked far too many years in a field that I never had any desire to be in... mental health. I stumbled into this field by taking a really great part-time job that had FULL benefits. Then it got to where just working part-time wasn't really paying down the debt so I got a full-time job doing the same thing because it was EASY. I had contacts, called them up and so I just took a full-time gig they offered. Now I feel stuck nearly two years later. Morale at my company is terrible because the person in charge is paranoid that we are all trying to cheat the company in some way. There would be a lot of turnover right now if the job market were better. I want to quit so badly but don't know what I would like to do instead. 

This situation directly relates to why I want to downsize my life. I feel that the less I have to take care of (possessions, friendships, work obligations), the freer I become. I didn't need that Coach purse that was equivalent to a car payment after all. I don't need the friendships with people that don't bring positive energy to my life. I don't want the work obligations where I feel like I am constantly on someone else's watch. Fear is stopping me though. I need a job where I can have healthcare benefits to see the doctor or get my teeth cleaned. I would have to make much more per hour if I was shelling out for my own policy. It's scary out there. What if some drunk person crashes into me while driving? Fear is motivating me to stay where I am at for now. 

I need to do some serious number crunching to find out what it would take for me to independent from the corporate slavery. I need to get out of this fear mode I seem to be stuck in. I need some air to breathe...

Maybe a few days off of work would be a good thing for now...